You've been asked to be maid of honor and gladly accepted without really knowing what's involved... sound familiar? Being the maid of honor for your friend or sister is an important role but it can be confusing to know exactly what's expected of you. There are some core responsibilities, like organizing an epic bachelorette party of course, but what else? 

Your involvement in the wedding will assist the bride during the planning process and on the day itself. It's helpful to start with a frank conversation to get an idea of expectations from both sides and avoid any confusion. This list is a great place to start talking through the typical duties; what kind of jobs the bride needs your help with and whether she will be delegating to you as a manager or calling on you as a consultant. Believe it or not, wedding planning can really test female friendships, so it pays to figure this out at the start to avoid any tension later.

Support the bride

Aside from being the bride's BFF, you've probably been selected as maid of honor because you are pretty organized and reliable, and actually enjoy planning. It's important that this role as your bride's right-hand person feels enjoyable rather than a chore! Planning a wedding can become overwhelming and your support throughout the process will be invaluable, whether that's a listening ear on the end of the phone or practical help to check off a list of jobs. Discuss the level of involvement the bride requires from you upfront and talk about ways that you can support her.

Serve as the point of contact

Introduce yourself to key members of the wedding party - bridesmaids, groomsmen, parents etc. - so they can turn to you with questions. This will alleviate stress from the bride in replying to texts and emails and puts you in a good position to filter any guest issues that you can easily solve without bothering the bride.

Go wedding dress shopping

Perhaps the most anticipated event aside from wedding ceremony itself, helping your bestie find their dream dress is a usually key maid of honor role. You'll likely be accompanying her on dress shopping trips and giving your honest opinion on what flatters her. You could help make the process even more special and fun by arranging a nice lunch or dinner; or even treat her to a manicure or massage after a long day trying on gowns.

Shop for bridesmaid dresses

Once the bridal dress is sorted, you'll need to start shopping for bridesmaid's outfits. Allow plenty of time for this as it can take longer than you might think! The number of bridesmaids and where you all live will determine whether it's possible to get together for a shopping trip or easier to order a load of dresses online for everyone to try on at home. Our guide to finding bridesmaid dresses for all shapes and sizes is full of helpful tips and inspiration to get you started.

Plan the bachelorette party

Planning a great bachelorette party is a key maid of honor job that can involve navigating budgets and WhatsApp groups with spreadsheets and schedules. It's no mean feat! It can be stressful trying to keep everyone happy so just focus on creating an event that you know the bride will love and enjoy, and don't hesitate to call on the other bridesmaids for help where you need it.

On the day duties

The wedding day is here! Today is all about keeping the bride calm and content. Stock up on her favorite snacks and remind her to eat; supply drinks (but not too many!) and if any problems crop up, try to deal with them without bothering the bride. You probably know your friend better than anyone so if you can predict what she might need or really enjoy on the day, like creating a playlist for getting ready or making her favorite coffee, these little touches will be really appreciated.

Maid of honor speech

It's traditional in some countries for the maid of honor to give a speech or a toast, but not all, so have this conversation early on to ensure you are prepared. If you don't feel comfortable standing up in front of a sea of guests to do a speech, don't feel pressured to and consider something more personal instead, such as writing a letter or poem, which is sure to be appreciated just as much.

Have fun and keep perspective

Even the most laid-back brides can become so wrapped up in making their wedding the most perfect day possible that the planning isn't enjoyable anymore. If you spot signs that it's all getting a bit overwhelming for her, offer a gentle reminder why she's getting married and help her to keep things in perspective. Try to keep the planning light and fun and remind her that committing to a life with her bae is really the most important part.